June 11-17: Madrid

Viva Espana! Here it is: Madrid by the numbers.

Number of world-class museums within 1 km of our hostel: 3

Madrid has the Prado, Sofia and Thyssen, respectively featuring classical art, modern art and both. In the Prado we became acquainted with the brilliance of El Greco, Velazquez and Goya, among others, as well as two particularly bizarre paintings: Bosch’s The Garden Of Earthly Delights, and Goya’s Saturn. Vicky also observantly noted: “There are many sculptures here by Marmol.” To which she received the response: “I think ‘marmol’ is Spanish for marble.”

The Sofia showcases the best of Spain’s twentieth-century artists, such as Picasso (in particular his famous Guernica), Dali and Miro, as well as many cool bronze sculptures. The Thyssen collection shows a bit of everything from the 14^th century onwards. In summary, lots of crucifixion, lots of Virgin Mary; Germans paint really ugly babies; and we still don’t get Cubism. (Apologies to any Germans, Catholics or Cubists.)

The Sofia. Nothing says class like a glass elevator.

Royal Palace. Not a gallery, but could be one.

Number of celebrities spotted in Madrid: 3

As we wandered through the amazing Plaza Mayor, one of Madrid’s nicest squares, who should we run into but our old friends Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz and Antonio Banderas? They were promoting Shrek Tercero to a rather scanty audience made up of mostly elderly Spanish women who were mainly there to see Antonio (judging by their chanting). Nonetheless there was plenty of paparazzi action, which we managed to get in on. Check out our exclusive pics below! No awkwardness noted between JT and Cameron, incidentally.

He's even hotter in person!

See how close we were!

Waving goodbye to our friends ... for now.

Minutes elapsed between buying churros and becoming sick of churros: 10

Churros (fried donuts for dipping in molten chocolate) seem like a good idea when you have a chocolate craving, but the donut is essentially a stick of oil that becomes increasingly rubbery with time. Rich! On a more tasty note, we managed to get into the traditional culinary habit of tapas and cerveza (or sangria), taken at the truly Spanish time of 4 pm (lunch) or 10 pm (an early dinner). A common sight at this time was four or five elderly Spanish women sitting down for a quiet beer; this somewhat cute phenomenon even occurred in Burger King. Elderly Spanish women: it’s all Antonio Banderas and beer.

Sheep cheese portion.

Useful errands completed in Madrid: 3

Namely, the purchasing of a new camera lens, the successful tailoring of multiple dresses (Limmy hates showing his knees) and the mailing of heavy stuff back to Melbourne, all courtesy of the very friendly Madrileños.

Teams vying for the Spanish football championship on the last weekend of the year: 3

Real Madrid, Barcelona and Sevilla. We managed to leave Madrid on the night that they dramatically won their final game to take the title, thus avoiding the usual celebratory riots in the capital.

Intercity sleeper trains missed: 1

Always pays to ask where the trains leave from. Somehow we convinced ourselves we could make the train by running very fast, even though we arrived at the correct station ten minutes after departure time. In desperation we momentarily considered a friendly taxi driver's offer to drive us to the next station to catch up with the train for the bargain price of AUD$200.

Vicky standing happily at Madrid station, unaware of our overnight train departing from a different station at this very moment. Note soon-to-be-worthless tickets in right hand.