May 14-18: Istanbul

Yay, Istanbul! The air is cleaner, the weather is beautiful, the people are friendly (even the tourist trappers are pleasantly irritating), getting around is easy … all a pleasant change from dusty and disorganised Egypt. It’s a pleasing mix of western Europe (cobblestone roads), the Middle East (mosques and national flags) and Sydney Road (kebab shops).

With one foot in Asia and the other in Europe, many empires, cultures and faiths have clashed and mixed in this city, producing many old and beautiful wonders. The Blue Mosque, Istanbul’s answer to the Mohammed Ali version in Egypt, is likewise ornate and cavernous. It feels a little privileged to have seen two of the Islamic world’s jewels in the space of three days.

The Basilica Cistern, a massive underground water storage facility dating back to 532 AD, is reminiscent of one of the spooky water palaces from Zelda – a little romantic, a little oddball (with upside-down Medusa head statues and chubby carp gracing its age-old waters).

The highlights of the Topkapı Palace, the Buckingham Palace of the Ottoman Empire’s sultans, are its picturesque harem (which means “women’s quarters”, not “house of debauchery”) and its unusual treasures, including Sultan Mehmet III’s ridiculously-dazzling gem-encrusted battle armour, remains of John the Baptist (his forearm and the top of his skull – nasty!) and the Kaşikçi diamond. “Kaşikçi” means “spoonmaker”; it was found, uncut, amongst garbage and sold whole for three spoons! Later, when someone realised the big rock-like thing was in fact diamond, it was cut into its current 85-carat size. It’s the fifth largest diamond in the world.

Vicky tries her hand at the ancient art of telling the time.

We were lucky enough to be allowed to observe a Mevlevi worship service. The Mevlevi are an order of the Sufi Islamic sect best known for their unusual whirling dance, a form of ecstatic prayer performed by people called dervishes, accompanied by chanting and music. It’s as thought-provoking and intriguing as four hours of Arabic and Turkish can be. Even the guide fell asleep. As we were not allowed to take photos, here is a sculpted version we prepared for this blog.

The Aya Sofya, a gigantic church built during the Roman era, is as grand and historic as the Blue Mosque, with its high domed ceilings and restored frescoes of Christ and John the Baptist, among others, in gold and other pigments. It’s incredible that these two structures are basically across the road from each other. The Muslims converted it into a mosque after the conquest of Constantinople in 1453, so there are giant medallions of Arabic praise to Allah alongside crosses. Tres Istanbul!

Limmy receives healing from the Holy Thumb Hole of St Gregor.

The Grand Bazaar is the Chadstone of Istanbul, or if you like, the Highpoint of 15^th century Turkey, with over 4000 stores, about 3500 of which are carpet stores. The “retail assistants” are some of the most advanced schmoozers – not one, but two of them, spoke to Limmy in Bahasa Malaya, then chastised him for not knowing his “native language”. Vicky demonstrated her considerable negotiating power at some of the jewellery shops:

• Vicky: “How much for these?”
• Shopkeeper: “60 lira.”
• V: “How about … 30 lira?”
• S: “Okay, okay … I give you 55 lira.”
• V: (Silence)
• S: “50 lira.”
• V: (Silence)
• S: “40 lira?”
• V: “I think 30 lira.”
• S: “Okay, okay, we go half way. 35 lira.”
• V: “We’ll take it for … 30 lira!”
• S: “Okay. You win. You are very strong.”

The adjacent backstreets are where the true Istanbullus buy their everyday goods, from plastic goods and electric cables, to shower heads and handguns. The backstreets lead to the Spice Bazaar, where piles and piles of spices (of course) can be bought. Everyone seems keen to sell their version of “Turkish Viagra”. Ironic given that you can buy the real thing on the street without a script, probably cheaper.

As you may have guessed, we’ve had a great time in Istanbul. And there’s more, but to minimise boredom, here’s the highlights package:

• A visit to Ali Muhiddin Hacı Bekir’s shop. He invented Turkish delight in the late 1700s! Needless to say, he’s no longer with us, but his descendants run the store.
• The Istanbul Archeological Museum, and coming face-to-face with statues from all eras of civilisation, from Shalmaneser to Sappho.
• Inadvertently visiting the Hippodrome, site of It’s A Knockout-style chariot battles of yesteryear. No one had told us the stadium-like walls no longer exist.
• Crossing the Galata Bridge, over the Bosphorus, from old to new Istanbul, where you can get some zany icecream. The ridiculously steep climb to get there was not a highlight.

• The food – the Turks have mastered the combination of yoghurt, tomato sauce, and composite meat rotating on a metal pole.
• To Vicky’s dismay, Limmy’s discovery of a 24-hour NBA channel in the hotel room.
• Watching an amazing BBC documentary where they hid remote-controlled cameras inside piles of dung to capture the most intimate behaviour of elephants! (And hearing David Attenborough say “plop-cam” several times.)

If anyone ever comes to Istanbul, stay at the Apricot Hotel. The host, Mehmet, is one of the friendliest people we have met on this trip. A former tour guide, he’s told us where to eat, stay and go in Turkey. Some of his gems included “I haven’t eaten at McDonalds in about two weeks, so I’m feeling the urge (probably meant ‘craving’)”, and “Gallipoli? I’ve seen it over two thousand times. I hate that movie.”

Finally, thanks for the blog support!